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While on your fitness and weight loss journey, there are going to be many challenges that you’ll have to conquer so you can succeed in achieving your goals. Unfortunately, many of those challenges are going to be from friends, co-workers, and family members.
So I acknowledge that it takes a lot of guts to get out there and start achieving your goals. The process is not easy and it’s not fast and you’re going to have to endure a lot of pain and heartache from the actions of people around you, even when they are your loved ones.
If the world was simple and your friends and family members were aware and all-loving they would support you 100% in the way that you need to be supported.
But let’s face it, people are screwed up. They have a lot of baggage that affects other people around them and that includes you. They are going to pull you into their world of baggage and you’re just going to have to deal with it like a SuperHero Goddess that you are.
Here are some ways jerks, friends, and family members try to destroy your deepest desires to change your body, your health, and fitness goals.
Sabotage Your Weight Loss and Fitness Journey Tactic #1 – Making comments either directly or passive-aggressively.
The more you’re out there, making an effort to change your health and body the more likely people are going to comment. It could be in a positive light but most of the times it’s pretty negative.
Know that this is going to happen and you can’t really force people to change their jerk status. Understand that this is your life, so you’llneed to create boundaries.
Here are examples of the experiences of a few Curvy Goddesses and how they handled it.
“A few times that I attended a Zumba class I had people tell me that I dance pretty good for being a big girl. Stupid remarks like that give me more motivation. I love myself no matter what size I am.” — Erika A.
“It’s the eye rolling I get when I am walking…. I am at 88lbs lost… and lost 80 of that before having a gastric sleeve. I am going to take the plunge and find a gym, it is getting too hot to walk during the day here in Texas outside, and the prospect of walking in the dark is not for me. So.. my mindset is, they can kiss my ass… I have proven to myself I have the courage to do things I set my mind to do.” — Lynn C.
“The most outrageous thing I heard while walking into my gym was, “I don’t know what you’re doing. Black women are supposed to be big!” This came from a Black woman standing outside of my gym.” — Taye DV.
It’s perfectly fine to tell these people that you don’t appreciate their comments. Look them directly in the eyes and know that you have a right to do what you’re doing.
‘”Good for youuuuuu’ ‘You can do this’ They say it, like I’m a special needs child. Head tilted to the side and everything.” — Tariece L.
Sabotage Your Weight Loss and Fitness Journey Tactic #2 – Pushing food on you.
Right when you’ve announced to your co-workers and family that you’re going to make changes all of a sudden there’s a pizza party at the office and your mother has invited you to a special dinner just because…she loves you.
No, it’s not your imagination. Saboteurs are everywhere so you’ll have to be prepared. Maybe keep it a secret to most people and share it with only one or two of your closest friends who give you the support you need.
And it gets worse. When you start losing weight they come out of the woodwork; the jealous ones, the ones who are afraid that they are losing you. They are all going to come out when they start seeing just a glimpse of progress and change in you.
So again, I warn you to be prepared.
Sabotage Your Weight Loss and Fitness Journey Tactic #3 – Discouraging you from working out.
One of my friends is on a winning streak with her work outs and shared with me last week that she’s getting a lot of push back from her family and friends. Some are commenting that she doesn’t need to work out, that she’s being too obsessive.
So the opinion of your family and friends matter more than what you want to achieve in YOUR life?
Because if it does, then quit right now.
Because you’re not going to get through another week, month, or year being controlled by the opinions of the people around you. You’re giving them the keys to your life.
Everybody needs to exercise. And being obsessed with it is not a disastrous thing. I’d red flag it if you’re working out 4 – 8 hours a day which all of those Biggest Losers participants do, but noone says anything about their insane, dangerous, and unrealistic exercise habits.
Sabotage Your Weight Loss and Fitness Journey Tactic #4 – Making you the bad guy for changing.
Ah, playing games, giving you grief by trying to make you feel guilty for changing for the bettter. This always makes me laugh. And I’m laughing constantly because it happens consistently with my clients who make radical changes in their lifestyle and it starts to physically show.
They report back to me saying so-and-so is acting weird around me. Or so-and-so shoved a fried food platter in front of me and told me to eat it then told me that we had better have a talk when I said “no” to the food.
There’s anger and hurt feelings in this drama situation all because you’re getting healthy and fit and focusing time to do good things for yourself.
So that’s what it looks like on the surface.
Some are afraid that they are losing you. They’ve only known you a certain way and for them to experience the changes in you can be scary for them.
You may be a reminder for others close to you that what they are doing to their bodies is not what they truly want to do but they are still not willing to change so their reaction is to act defensively.
Others will give you the reason that you’re being too healthy and obsessive. But I don’t buy that. It may be that they can’t control you anymore and they are masking it turning the table, expressing to you that you’re being too obsessive.
So now, from experience, I give a warning to my clients to prepare for what’s coming. It really is challenging to make changes in your life and even harder to constantly deflect the negative reactions toward what you are doing.
It truly is par for the course and it’s something that you need to learn how to handle and manage.
You’ll need to ask yourself what is of utmost importance to you. Is what you’re doing for you more important than making your friends and family comfortable?
Sabotage Your Weight Loss and Fitness Journey Tactic #5 – Being the food and fitness police.
The star is the one who is doing it, taking action. You are actively achieving your dreams so the critics are the other people on the sidelines who think they know better.
That unsolicited advice worthy of the eye-roll. Don’t buy into it. If you’ve got your plan mapped out there is no room to go on a tangent and listen to these self-claimed coaches and experts. You didn’t hire them.
And to be honest with you, they can easily side-track your focus and your efforts.
Take a deep, long breath and remind yourself your plan. It doesn’t matter what their true intention is, if you didn’t ask for advice then ignore the commentary.
Whatever the reason behind all of the crazy, hurt-filled comments and behaviors from your closest friends, loved ones, and co-workers while you’re actively pursuing your goals know that it’s their stuff.
You certainly do not have to take on all the baggage, and if you do, understand that it will most likely veer you off to a permanent halt of what is important to you.
It’ll be the weight loss and fitness sabotage tactics from them that worked! Be upfront. Be steadfast. Be passionate.
Has it ever happened to you? What did they tell you and how did you handle it? Share by commenting below this post!
Until next time Curvy Goddess, Stay Strong and Stunning!
